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Read about what happened between.
Dorota and Timothy
Dorota; My husband loves sex, I give it to him often, but I don’t enjoy it, why? Because I feel he doesn’t love me.
Everyday he gets home from work, I want to sit on his laps and talk with him, I want to tell him about my day and feel his impart, and hear about his also, but he shows no emotion in what I have been doing or how I am feeling, instead of talking with me he would rather says, bring me my tea and dish out for me, sooner after eating he call me to bed, he want me to feel sexy, I give him sex the way he want, but my heart is not in it, reason? Because I thinks he’s not caring and doesn’t love me, but he only enjoy using my body to satisfy himself.
He quickly finishes in just two minutes and falls asleep immediately, and I feel like crying because I realize, that he thinks that I am a sex machine.
I kept asking myself, ‘’why does he hide his thoughts from me? Why doesn’t he ever ask about my thought and feelings? Does he love me at all?’’
The first thing you need to make your relationship grow is communication, communication means talking with each other freely. A man will begin to enjoy marriage more and more when he realize, ‘’it’s good for a man to talk with his wife freely, the more they communicate the more they understand each other much more better.
There are three levels of communication. first, is called joy of friendship, second is called joy of understanding, third is called joy of
romantic, and forth is called joy of exciting sex, how to reach the first level is this.
Talk about what happened, each afternoon when you get you, you husband/wife arrive home from work, tell each other what happened during the day, talk about the stress you underwent ….. what you saw that ponder you……or whatever that had happened.
It’s amazing that many couples fail to communicate even at the simple level, they stay in the same compound yet they seldom talk, don’t be like that communicate everyday greet one another with a hug, and talk about what happened during the day, asap this will be come customary that you both enjoy, in addition ask your partner, ‘’what happened in your life today? This question is very important, if a husband never ask his wife about her day, she wonder and says to herself does he really love me
Level two; communication talk about how to plan for the family, what school should our children attend, our relatives and also plan for the future, for example, husband can discuss with his wife question such as, should we ask my cousin to stay with us? What business should we invest on? Should we buy a new car or build a new house?
Let’s not allow quarrels and argument to kill our communication, instead let’s discuss each subject in a very kind manner…… and if we begin to disagree, let’s continue to talking until we agree on a decision. From there we can move on to talk about our feelings, we open the door of our heart, allowing our marriage partner to see and know our feelings.
Example; Timothy told his wife Dorota, ’’Today my brother got infuriated and vented his range on me, and my father supported him, why did timothy called his wife attention to this? The answer is, Timothy discussed the issue with his wife to know how the problem could be solved. And after that his wife asked, ‘’how do you now feel? Timothy replied , ‘’Then I worry. I fear that our family relationship will decline, I also feel hurt. But am happy now because the sharing of feelings brings us joys and doubled our happiness, because the happiness of one man is the happiness of the other, and our burdens are cut into half since we reason together, we share the load together. It’s is not good for a man to be alone, a man and his wife are no longer two , they are one.
Level three. Husband should not put too much fear into his wife mind.
Some husband make their waives fear them, you see fear destroys communication. A wife should be (summit) to her husband and not to fear him. God says in (Eph.5—25) wives, be submissive to your husbands, Husband love your wives, there is no fear in love, fear removes love from ones heart. (1.John.4---18)
We should not hurt ourself.
While I was waiting at the bus stop today Ruth remembered, ‘’Abel scolded me and I felt hurt, yet his voice seemed cold and unloving, as she continue talking about it, the hurt grew the more, she remembered other times when he had hurt her, finally she asked herself, ‘’what can I do about this hurt? If I try to hide it, my communication with Abel this evening will be half-hearted, under the surface I will still feel hurt, perhaps I should wait for Abel to say, ‘sorry; no that won’t work because he may not realize how he hurt me, there is only one answer; I must talk with him about the hurt, I will speak honestly, and also respectfully,’’ the evening when she and abel were alone, Ruth said softly, ‘’Dear I think I should let you know that your words this morning hurt me so much, I have felt bored all day, now I feel ashamed for letting such a small thing bother me all day.’’
After Abel apologized , they were able to communicate and enjoy their evening and have good time together.
If Ruth had tried to hide the hurt, what kind of evening and bed-time would they have had?
Ruth’s hurt was a small , if your marriage has a huge hurts.
Example; like adultery or beating and more so.
If such a thing is happening among husband and wife, what you need to do is to just find time when you can sit down together and talk with each other about your needs for betterment communication, be respectful, talk in a very kind manner.
Like saying ’’ Darling, I feel lonely, I feel like you and me are strangers to each other, ‘’ I am not saying you it’s your fault.
But I think both of us need to make the effort to build our communication, choose the right time to say that to you husband/wife.
Don’t say it when he or she is tired or hungry, wait until he relaxed , and in a conducive place where both of you can be alone and discuss at length.
Am sure that discussion will change your husband into good communication!!! Hopefully it will help, however it will still not communicate very well at that moment.
Remember that you must love your husband even if he doesn’t communicate will with you, you should also have it in mind that you are not perfect, as nobody is perfect, and your husband too has the job of loving you along with your weakness.
Am sure after some days you will beat our phone and tell us that your husband or wife as improved, perhaps you still need more communication, ‘’our reply will be don’t expect your husband to satisfy your total need communication.
Example if any of your relative dies, you should do this, find female friends with whom you can communicate as well as you like.
1. Tell your husband how you feel, he may be able to satisfy part of your need for communication.
2. Walk up to some of your female friends to communicate and share your feelings with them.
Then your needs for communication will be men partly by your husband and partly by your female friends.
But remembered we said ‘female; if you find a male friend that is good at communication, you might be tempted to do adultery.
As a matter of fact.
A. have an honesty talk with your husband, let him know that you need enough communication.
B. Continue to love and respect your husband, even if he is not a good communicator.
C. Don’t expect him to satisfy all of your communication needs, have some female friends too.
How to make complains less.
Samson says, ‘’my wife always complains, ’’this house is small…. Our car is old …… I never have money to do my hair….. she just goes on and on –as if nothing’s right.’’
Debora says. ‘’Every time my husband entered the house he always complains, ’’Must you cook the meat that way? Why is the house not tidy up, why are your clothes lying on my chair….?
Yes a good way to improve your marriage is; Complains less.
When next you are tempted to complain, stop and ask yourself, ’’Do I really need to complain about this? Instead of complaining ,is there a better way? Perhaps I can wait for a day when the meat is cooked, yes that is right and then say, ‘This is succulent …..please always cook it like this,’ so can easily move her clothes from my chair, without any complaining. Something things are too small to complain about.
Level four--- Satisfy his or her sex –needs
Some says,’’ God doesn’t want anyone to enjoy sex,’’ it a lie, the truth is, God want husband and his wife to find great pleasure in sex. God want us to enjoy sex in marriage. (Proverb.5.18-20)
In the book of bible called ‘song of songs,’ the husband says to his wife, How sweet is your love, my darling, my bride!
The beautiful smell of your love is better than the richest spice, your things are perfect curved like jewels.
And the wife says to her husband;
Let your lips cover me with your kisses, my lover lies between my breasts, his mouth is sweet, he is my lover and my friend, come, my lover, let’s go to the hills …. There I will give you my love!
Yes God’s plan is; Enjoy sex in your marriage, unfortunately, some husband don’t even try to excite or satisfy their wives, they say, ’’A good wife should not enjoy sex, she must relax while I do it to her,’’
And some wives don’t want to enjoy sex, they get into bed with is attitude, ’’if you want to have it, then do it to me, but hurry up, my sleep is very important to me, ’’how different that is from the above verses where the wife says, ’’let your lips cover me with kisses ……come I will give you my love. (Song of songs)
Your duty is, satisfy your sex-needs of your wife/husband.
God says to you, ’’I created your husband/wife with needs, what needs? The need for love and the need for sex, you must satisfy those needs----not only when you feel like, but also when you don’t , you have the responsibility and the pleasure of satisfying his/her needs for love and sex, that’s your duty.’’
A husband should do the sexual needs of his wife, and wife shoulsd also satisfy her husband sexual needs. (1.Corinth.7-3)
Listen husband your wife should not go day after day feeling and hungry for sex. You must give her what she needs.
Listen, wife, it’s not good for your husband to go into town feeling hungry for sex, satisfy him at home .
Why does God command us to satisfy the sex-needs of our husband/wife? Because God want us to enjoy love and sexual satisfaction in-marriage. God does not want adultery.
Your body belongs to your husband/wife.
Husband, on your wedding day, God gave your body to satisfy your wife. Which body? Yours, your body is now hers, wife, your body is no longer yours, it’s now his.
The wife body belongs to her husband, while the husband body belongs to his wife.(1.corinth.7-3)
Some wives says, ’’since my husband refuses to give me money and buy new furniture at home, I will give him no sex this month, ’’Please wife, don’t act like that, though you have the right to hold back from sex.
We asked 100 people,’’ Does your husband/wife satisfy your sex-needs?,’’……80 said,’’ no, he/she does not, if your husband/wife is not satisfied, do what God tells you, satisfy him/her . begin today, put yourself down for him talk to him with a very kind and respectful manner!!!
When he/she ask for sex, usually you should say ‘yes” but there are three times when you may say ‘no;
1. You may say if the two of you agree. Do not say refuse to satisfy each other, if both of you agree not to have sex for a brief time so you can pray more, when the brief time is over, continue satisfying each other sexual needs, otherwise Satan may tempt you to do adultery.(corinth.7-5)
When husband want to sex, his wife may say no,’’ I am tired, let’s not……Okay?’’ he may reply ,’’let’s do it, ’’if he says. ’’let’s
do it. ’’they should do it. Similarly, when a wife asks for sex, he may say, ’’not today……okay?’’
She may reply….’’okay or say, ’’let’s do it, ’’if she says, ‘’let’s do it,’’ they should do it, so who decides---is it the husband or the wife?answer; is the one who need sex the one who decides.
If the husband asks for sex and she prefers not, he decides either, ’’let’s do it, ’’or let’s not,’’ if the wife asks for sex and he prefers not, she decides either, ’’let’s do it, ’’or let’s not.’’
2.You may say ‘no’ if it’s for a brief time. A husband may say, ’’let’s have sex now, ’’she may say, ’’please, let’s wait for a brief time, ’’he asks, ‘’how long?’’ she may says, ’’tomorrow let’s have red-hot sex!’’ he says, ’’okay, tomorrow, thanks, honey!’’
They did well, they obeyed the above verses, they talked…..they agreed’ on a brief time.’
3.You may say ’no’ if you thinks you could catch (HIV)if your husband/wife falls into adultery, it is right for you to say, ’’he
or she should be treated for (HIV). If he or she is (HIV)+ we must do whatever the doctor says so that (HIV) will nor pass from he or she to me, it would not be good for both of us to die and leave our children alone.
One of you may need sex more often than the other.
Sometimes a wife desires sex daily , but her husband prefers it weekly, in other cases, the husband desires it daily and the wife needs it less often. Do your best to give your husband/wife ,’’sex as often as he or she desires it, even if it’s everyday.
Statistics show, the average husband desires sex 3 times more often than his wife, don’t say to your husband/wife, ’’you need sex too often, is something wrong with you?’’ don’t say so, instead, satisfy him/her, don’t refuse, if you refuse, Santa will tempt he/her to do adultery.
If I do adultery, is it my sin? The answer is probably yes; it’s your sin.
People like to say, ’’my adultery was not my sin---it was fault of my husband/wife---because he/she didn’t satisfy me,’’
God says, ’’if you do adultery, it’s is your sin—(Ex..20—14) if your husband/wife does not satisfy you, Satan will tempt you, but cannot force you, you have the power to say ‘no’ to adultery(1.cornith.10-13) if you don’t say ‘no’ it’s your sin.
God want you to enjoy sex ---with no fear of HIV.
If you and your wife where HIV –on your wedding day and if you continue having sex with each other only, only you will not get HIV. You are free to enjoy any kind of sex with each other with no fear of HIV.
Sex in marriage is beautiful---but sex outside marriage is bitterly sinful.
How delightful is your love, my bride, your lips, my bride is as sweet as honey.(song.4—10—11)
The lips of another lady drip honey but in the end, she is bitter, do not go near her door my son, drink from you own well. (proverb.5-3-4-8-15)
We are hereby introducing our (Volume2)Book of sex preparation that husband/wife needs, before bed, in bed, and after bed.
If we mesmerize your attention? Or you need any information Buzz us @ our email address, wealthwiseplus@yahoo.com or reach our voice @ 08100173789. Please don’t flash!!!………… Yours faithfully, Ajele…………………………………………………………
